Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Boy why you so obsessed with me =)

I'm yet again going through a phase of depression. I don't know maybe it's seasonal depression. Since i started smoking again i noticed i'm more inclined to let myself go. I enjoy smoking even if i'm starting to dislike this weakness i'm indulging into. It's akin to a craving for immediate gains. Well it's basically a drug after all.
Indulging yourself in immediate gains is a vicious slope, you lose sight of true perspectives. And even though i am aware of that, i just can't find a reason, and that's the biggest hit.
Same with working; you work yourself off till you numb any dream you might have. So what's left to do, considering there are so many like me, and so few that are actually happy... get off your ass of course, pft. To what avail? There's certainly a dose of fear stopping me, but only the necessary amount; nah it's simply a lack of reason.  Society has dulled all our senses. A war would spice things up? A common villain. Something to feed the masses. Fuck it, i can't express what i'm thinking in a coherent manner so i'll just stop; I know that whoever felt this can relate and understands, and it's enough.
Haven't written in a while and i thought maybe i'd like to remember this when i'm happy, a dose of my own darkness. There's never light without darkness.

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